Aftermath
by Fortex
Summary: Collection of one-shots post season one: Ch. 1 Robin, Ch. 2 Raven (possible RxR), New! Ch. 3 Slade's thoughts.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any of the characters involved in anyway, shape, or form.  I also have nothing worth being sued over.

Aftermath

It's cold.

I didn't notice it when I first came out here.  The funny thing is I never do, no matter how many times I end up here.  I know it's kind of strange to stand on a rooftop in the middle of the night but some habits are hard to break.  I guess I just like to stare off into space as I sort out my thoughts.

I can't help but wonder what Batman thinks about when he stands on a rooftop at night.  Does he wonder what super-villain he'll have to confront next?  Does he ever wonder what makes them tick?  I could never read what was going on in his head but it always seemed like he was looking over Gotham, like he was waiting for something.  

I think that's our biggest difference.  He would come out to be part of his city, to watch over it.  When I stand out here my mind is miles away from the city below me.  My thoughts are always focused inward.  

Right now all I can think about are the last two days.  

Before Slade was a complete mystery to me.  Despite my best efforts nothing concrete would ever turn up.  Something about the way he fought screamed military and not just any group could be that good but no matter how much I searched it seemed like he didn't exist.  All I could say about Slade was that he was ruthless, determined, and far more intelligent than you ever want an opponent to be. 

And now I think I understand him even less.  Because back there in his hideout, in that clock tower turned stronghold, I think I saw past his mask.  Not that stupid orange and black mask he wears on his face, but the meticulously crafted persona he presents to the world.  For a split second, instead of the ever calm and collected criminal mastermind I saw a psychopath.  That makes his actions even more confusing.

Honestly, I didn't think Slade would deactivate the probes.  Fact is I expected to die in that room with all of my friends.  And I knew that could, and probably would, happen when I infected myself.

So why didn't he kill us?  

He could have eliminated all of the Teen Titans, and he could have watched us die right in front of him.  How many villains have tried to get that same opportunity he just threw away?  I'd like to think that it was his ego that saved us.  That he thought he could still salvage part of his plan.  Or maybe that he thought he could beat all of us.  But that doesn't fit his character, or at least how little of it I've seen.

Driven?  Yes.

Crazy?  Possibly.

Stupid?  Definitely not.

I don't want to think that he spared them to keep from killing me, because that means we will definitely face Slade again.  And that it will be because of me that we do.  But right now I can't see any other reasons and I'm scared I could be put in that situation again.

It was bad enough having to work for Slade.  Having to fight my friends and break the law in order to protect them.  At the time all I could do was cooperate in order to keep them alive.  

But where would I have drawn the line?

Would I have drawn one at all?

I realize I would have had to at some point.  But trespassing, stealing, and destroying property, are all minor crimes compared to protecting four lives.  Problem is where would it have stopped?  What if he made me steal a weapon, one that I knew he would use to hurt innocent people? What if he ordered me to use it? Even if I could never bring myself to murder someone, I'd be responsible for the deaths of my friends.  When I think about everything that's happened I'm amazed that no one was killed.  

Will we be that lucky when Slade comes back?

I think that's what's really bothering me.  The next time we see Slade he'll have a new plan.  Now that he's tipped his hand we'll be more cautious and he knows it.  He's going to have to be even more creative next time and I'm worried he'll be up to the challenge.  Hell, I know he will be.

It all comes down to whether or not we ***drip*…**

My train of thought screeches to a halt when a drop of water hits me in the face.  A second later it completely derails when I hear a familiar voice come from the roof entrance.

"Not exactly the best night to be stargazing."  Raven's soft voice startles me from…well my brooding.  I wonder if she's been standing there for very long.

When her words sink in I look back at the sky and realize that I can't see anything.  Looks like there'll be a storm tonight and the clouds are blocking the stars.  I turn back to her and put on what I hope is a relaxed smile.  "I'm just trying to sort out my thoughts."

She nods slightly before speaking again, "The 'cooks' downstairs will be finished soon so they sent me up here to get you.  I should warn you, Starfire is attempting to prepare the 'sacred pudding of friendship'.  It ate through the first pot she was cooking it in and … she seemed pleased."

I can feel my appetite shrink at the thought and I'm about to comment when both Cyborg and Beast Boy appear in the doorway.

Beast Boy begins to talk but gets cut off by a sharp elbow from Raven.  "What's keeping you two?  The food's been sitting there for at least…Ow! Hey! What gives?"  Once again I wonder long she's been there and I'm tempted to ask until Beast Boy begins speaking again.  

"Anyway I came up with a great idea! I think we have a lead on Slade." Why don't I like the sound of that?  I'll give him the benefit of the doubt though, because I have too.  

"You should have heard the theories he went through while forming this one." Cyborg interrupts, and he seems to mentally brace himself for something.

Beast Boy looks a little upset but presses on.  "We saw Slade was ready to give up that base.  So he must have a bunch of others.  Well anyway based on what we saw I came up with a theory.  Now try to keep up with me here." He pauses for dramatic tension. 

"Real estate agent turned criminal mastermind!" 

…I have nothing to say to that and judging by the lack of sound around me the others feel the same way.  So everyone sorta stares at each other for a few moments.  The silence is finally shattered when a noise from someone's stomach reminds them of their monstrosity of a breakfast downstairs and the two 'chefs' take off down the steps.  I can't be certain but I think I hear the words 'robot' and 'zombie' as they race to the kitchen.

Sighing softly, I turn to Raven. "See what happens when they're left alone for too long?  Someone has to be the voice of reason."

"That's your job." She replies in a neutral tone and I'm not sure but I think I saw her smile…or at least smirk.  It looks like I'll have to depress myself some other time.  We both head towards the stairs when I decide it can't hurt to try.

"You've got a point, so Raven…ever considered leadership?"  She rolls her eyes and I think I can feel a smile tugging at my lips.  

Slade will show up again and the next move is his to make.  I wonder why this doesn't bother me as much as it should.  Until I realize why this feels so familiar, and I know it's corny and I know I said it before.  

But right now I'm just happy to be part of the team.

This time I know I'm smiling.

A/N: This is the first thing I've ever written and posted online so constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.  It seems like I tried to write a very odd type of fanfic, so I'm not sure if the formatting was done very well.  Trying to keep the fanfic in Robin's POV made it kind of awkward.  Any feedback will be helpful.  This was supposed to be a look into Robin's thoughts but halfway through it took off in some random direction.


	2. Night Owls

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money, don't sue.

Of Night Owls & Comfortable Silences

_Azarath__ Metrion Zinthos_

These words have become second nature to me.  They help focus my powers when in combat and they allow me to center myself when I meditate.  During meditation I can distance myself from my emotions while confronting any lingering doubts.  

The events of the last few days have been weighing heavily upon my mind.  Until now I haven't had a chance to meditate and these recent events have been especially taxing.  

I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.  The world around me slowly fades away and soon my body seems to do the same.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

As I recite this familiar mantra my thoughts focus on what has happened in the last few days.  One by one I confront the issues that have been plaguing my mind and the emotions which accompany them.  As is often the case past failures are the most difficult to ignore and the first to surface.

_Falling for Slade's decoy._  __

I understand now that the reflection on the detonator was placed there on purpose.  I was so certain that Slade had made a mistake.  I should have realized that he had an ulterior motive for telling us about the detonator.  Slade could have easily drawn us out and surprised us with a real Chronoton Detonator.  He wouldn't have batted an eye at the loss of Cinderblock, much less a few of his robots.  Perhaps if we hadn't walked into that warehouse together we wouldn't have fallen so completely into his trap.

_Perhaps I wouldn't have had to fight one of my friends._

After the Red X incident I wondered how we would have fought if we had known it was Robin under that mask.  Red X took us by surprise, a complete mystery that knew how to exploit all our weaknesses.  Now I have an answer to that question.  And part of me wishes Robin had worn another mask and that we hadn't known it was him.  But that is a selfish desire and it is quickly brushed aside as the most troubling event comes to mind.

_We were used as a tool to control someone._

You would think that we would have been relieved to know that Robin was being forced to work for Slade.  But any relief that could have come from knowing that was crushed by the fact that, in a way, we were the ones forcing him.  With no way of removing the probes all we could do was follow the signal back to Slade's hideout and just… show up.  No plan, no idea what we would find, just a refusal to be someone's puppet.  Frankly, I'm amazed that all of us made it out of there alive.  

But you cannot change the past no matter how much you dwell on it.  All I can do is put these events behind me and try not to underestimate an enemy again.

I open my eyes and the familiar confines of my room come into focus.

In the comforting silence of my room I can barely detect the sound of the rain falling outside.  It was because of the rain that I was forced to meditate indoors.  Although that's hardly an inconvenience, my room is my sanctuary and I can find peace here as easily as anywhere else. 

Glancing at my clock I find that it's 2 o'clock in the morning.  That would explain why the tower is so quiet.  Deciding that something warm to drink would be pleasant at the moment I leave my room and walk down the empty hallway.  

I stop just before the entrance to the kitchen as I become aware of another presence.  I don't even have to strain my senses to identify who it is.  The only other person who would be awake at this hour is Robin.  

The rain must have driven him from the rooftop.  Unfortunate, since Robin seems to focus himself while on the rooftop at night.  I can guess where he picked up that habit.  

I don't want to intrude, especially since he has always respected my privacy.  I consider returning to my bedroom unnoticed until that option is taking away from me.

"The water will be ready soon."  Robin calls out from inside of the kitchen.

Surprised that I've been caught I walk through the doorway. I see that he's leaning against the counter.  From that position he couldn't possibly have seen around the doorway.  

"How did you know I was there?" I ask, partly from curiosity and partly to diffuse an awkward entrance.  His response is somewhere between a dismissal and a poor attempt at humor.

"Aren't we all creatures of habit?"  While there is some truth to that statement, that's not a real answer and he knows it.  I stare at him patiently until he realizes I want an actual answer.  

"The edge of your cloak was sticking out past the doorway." he admits finally. I respond with a small nod before I notice our surroundings.  With the exception of one of the small hanging lights the kitchen is completely dark.  Even though the room is poorly lit I can see that a kettle is resting on one of the burners.

Raising an eyebrow I turn to him and ask, "You enjoy hanging out in the dark?"  I can't help but notice how odd it is for me to be asking someone that question.  

"You should visit the Batcave sometime."  He answers with an amused tone.  Then he continues in a slightly more serious manner.  "Feel free to turn on the lights if you want."  

I move past him and take a seat at the table.  I allow myself a small smirk as I respond in kind.  "You should visit my bedroom sometime."  

Then I stiffen as I realize how that sounds.  I can feel myself blush slightly in embarrassment.  Glancing at Robin I can tell that he's fighting down a smirk.  Since I'm not fond of being embarrassed I decide to change the subject.

"What are you doing up?"  I wince mentally at the less than neutral tone of my voice. 

He takes a moment to secure a straight-face before answering, "It started raining pretty hard out there, finally had to come inside."  He pauses to nod towards the kettle before continuing, "Thought I could use something warm to drink."

That explains what he's doing in the kitchen but not what he's doing up.  If he wants to be alone with his thoughts I don't mind leaving and in all honesty I wouldn't mind putting most of this encounter behind me.

"Oh, so you're not obsessing over factors beyond your control?"  I ask and while my tone isn't serious the question itself is.  Of all the possible responses to that question his catches me completely off guard.

"Actually I finished with that a few hours ago.  I was just thinking about how I haven't been a very good friend lately."  All I can do is stare at him.  My expression must reveal how surprised I am because he attempts to explain himself.  "Even before my obsession with Slade I was more leader than a friend.  I don't think I did a very good job of being there for everyone."  His tone begins somewhat light but becomes more and more solemn.

When he finishes speaking I shake my head before I reply.  While I'm not the most talkative I have never had a problem expressing my opinions.  And as the most distant of all the Titans I'm uniquely qualified to respond to that statement.

 "That's not true.  You've always been approachable.  We've always known that we could come to you if we had a problem.  And… if I was going to talk to anyone in the tower, it would be you."  As I finish speaking Robin smiles slightly before he responds.

"Thanks Raven, that means a lot to me.  Um, that's not just because Cyborg can be insensitive, Starfire's often naïve, and Beast Boy is…dense is it?"  He finishes slowly and only half-joking.  

"Well that's part of it." I reply with a small smirk.  I try to look him in the eyes as best I can despite his mask before I continue.  "But aside from that, you look like someone who can keep a secret."

His smile visibly grows as he picks up my subtle attempt at humor.  Unfortunately, my dry wit is often lost on some of the other Titans.  

For a while nothing is said or done as we bask in the silence of the tower.  Finally Robin glances at the kettle and begins searching some cups.  Since the correct cupboard is closer to where I'm sitting then from where he has begun his search I decide to get them myself.

Rising from my seat I open the correct cupboard and reach inside for two mugs.  As I pull out the first one my hand brushes against the some sort of fabric.  Robin smiles sheepishly as he approaches and I hand him the first mug.  I reach into the cupboard for the second mug and, out of curiosity, the unknown object.  

And I find myself holding the skull mask from his Red X costume.

It's strange but I can actually feel the air in the room grow tense.

After the first run in with Robin as Slade's apprentice we searched both his room and his lab for anything that would explain his actions.  Of course we didn't find anything because there was nothing to find.  How the mask was left behind in the kitchen I don't know.  But it appears that someone stuffed it into the cupboard so he wouldn't see it.  

That's… actually thoughtful, stupid but thoughtful.

When I finally tear my gaze away from the mask I look at Robin and try to gauge his reaction.  I can't read his facial expression but it's obvious, even in the limited light of the room, that he's paled.

"We searched…" I begin but he waves off my explanation.

"I understand.  I just don't have the best memories attached to it." His voice is steady but it's clear that he's shaken.

I watch him silently as I wonder what he could be thinking about.  He knows he made a mistake and that none of us hold that against him anymore.  Suddenly, I realize he must be thinking about what Starfire said to him and before I can think about what I'm doing I find I'm voicing my thoughts.

"Starfire was wrong." I blurt out… well since I've already voiced my opinion I might as well explain myself.  "Maybe you and Slade are alike but the situation wasn't exactly the same.  Slade doubted your loyalty as Red X.  But you've never questioned ours."  I pause briefly thinking back to when he stood up for me after the incident with Dr. Light.

"You thought we would hold back if we knew who we were fighting…and you were right, we would have held back."  The same way we held back when he was working for Slade. 

As I meet his gaze I can tell he's thinking the same thing.  

What could have been an awkward situation is interrupted by the kettle.  Grateful for the distraction I walk to the stove and retrieve the kettle.  I fill both mugs with hot water and I'm about to pick up a tea packet when I notice what Robin is doing.

"Hot chocolate?" I ask him in mild disbelief.  

He blushes and stumbles through some sort of explanation, "Um…well the weather is getting colder.  I guess it's just that time of year ya know?"  He pauses to compose himself.  "You should try some."

I stare at him for a moment before looking at the cup of hot water in my hands.  Sighing softly I decide it couldn't hurt to humor him.  "Why not."  

I notice his face brighten as he hands me a packet of hot chocolate and takes a seat at the kitchen table.  I take a seat across from him once my drink is ready.  

So we sit down across from one another neither of us saying anything, just sitting here with our drinks listening to the distant sounds of the rain.  I hate to break the silence around us but I should at least let him know what I think about the drink.

"Robin."  I pause to make sure I have his attention.  He meets my gaze from across the table and I smile slightly before I continue.  "Not bad, but…next time herbal tea."

He just smiles back at me but it's a smile that actually reaches his eyes.  And I realize how long it's been since I last saw one.  Not that I notice those types of things.  

I'm about to return my gaze to my drink when I hear him respond.

"Deal."  

I take another sip of my hot chocolate savoring both the taste and the warmth.  And I find myself thinking about the last time we were at this table, during our bizarre celebration after defeating Slade.  

I honestly didn't have anything in mind when I suggested we celebrate.  And that breakfast monstrosity was not something I particularly enjoyed.

This is definitely more my speed.

A/N:  Constructive criticism is appreciated.  Tell me if the format is odd or if the POV is awkward.  I realize I kinda stood on a soapbox with that part about Red X but after seeing Nevermore again I realized Robin does trust the others to a certain degree.


	3. Understanding

Disclaimer:  I don't own the Teen Titans or any of the characters mentioned in this fanfic.

Understanding

Patience Robin.  

How many times have I told you to be more patient?  Yet it turns out to be my own lack of patience that cost me so much.  In a sense that was the worst part of my defeat.  It's painful enough to watch something slip through your fingers, but it's entirely different to have only yourself to blame.  Alas, the best laid plans…

At first I was angry with you Robin, angry that my plans had been ruined, that my timetables had been set back.  But that quickly passed; after all I can't blame you for escaping. If anything it assures me that you are the ideal choice for an apprentice.  You may have needed your friends to escape but you were directly responsible for my defeat.  They may have forced you to make a decision but it was your character that determined what decision you made.

In that crucial moment, with the lives of your friends hanging in the balance, you decided to bet on your own skills.  You made the same choice I would have made.  The same choice I once made.  That proves you're worth all the time I have invested.

Do you have any idea why you were picked?

Of course you don't.  It had nothing to do with your martial arts training, your detective skills, or your grasp of technology.  While notable, all of those things can be taught.  In a way it's because of your complete lack of superpowers that you are so unusual.  It forced you to develop a mindset unlike that of anyone else.  

You are the only one, the only Titan who can simply take off a costume and walk away.  If you desired it you could enjoy all the luxuries of a normal life.  And after everything you've been through the problems of a typical teenager would seem so trivial.  

But you can't leave this life behind.  I doubt you could even imagine living any other way.  You're chained to this way of life Robin.  They may be chains of your own making, but you are chained nonetheless.  

Do you know why you're doomed to this way of life?

The answer is right in front of you but you refuse to see it.  You're content to live day to day without understanding what really drives you.  I believe that if you truly sought that answer you would be disturbed by your own arrogance.  The reason you can't stop playing hero is simple.  

You want to change the world… and once again you and I are not so different.  

However, you're going about it all wrong.  To change the world you have to work from the top down.  You can't waste your time on minor robberies and petty thugs.  If you want to you have any lasting effect you are going to have to get your hands dirty.  But you refuse to take the necessary steps to make a real difference.

How many times will you let your enemies break out of jail?  How many times will you face them in battle, endangering the lives of your friends and countless civilians?  

How many times will you watch the system fail?  Before you turn to a more effective solution?

Will your stringent code of ethics always keep you from taking a life?  Or is there something else that is stopping you?  Is it because he doesn't kill?  Even now, far from home, you are trapped within more than just his shadow.  In fact, on some level, part of you still seeks his approval.

That's why you need my help.

For one so young, all the skills you have acquired are quite impressive.  But for all those skills you are still so young. There lies your greatest weakness.  You believe that you can overcome any obstacle just as you are now.  Ah, the arrogance of youth… to think that you will live forever.  You don't fully understand yourself and now you're beginning to see the limitations of the world around you.  As all of these factors fill you with uncertainty, there is no one you can turn to.  

It's obvious that I understand you Robin, better than you understand yourself.  

But do you understand me?

No doubt, you've already tried to understand me.  But for all your effort what have you learned?  Not much.  After all, you have no idea what I have done outside of this insignificant little city.  Everything you thought you knew about me, every lead you followed was placed there for a reason.  And you were so surprised when I revealed that everything had been a test.  I'm sure my actions must strike you as extreme.  However, I believe that the ends justify the means.  Perhaps you don't agree with my methods.

Then again maybe you do…Red X.

As Red X you were most impressive.  Not for stealing those worthless computer chips.  What impressed me was the way you manipulated and used your friends.  You not only mislead them.  You controlled exactly what information they were exposed too.  And intentionally tripping the silent alarms, just so I would see your encounters with the other Titans was exceptionally clever.  So clever in fact, that I took it upon myself to trip them for you when you worked for me.

Or haven't you realized that yet?

Do you wonder why I decided to keep you in this city?  The reason I kept you here wasn't to steal equipment.  I wanted you to fight your friends.  That was the most important part of your training.  I'm certain you would find me even more confusing if I told you that.  After all this time you know so little about me.  It must be driving you insane.

But are you sure you want to understand me?

Don't worry Robin, one day you will…and your friends will be the ones that make you understand.

Have you ever lost someone?  

Of course you have.  Whether you realize it or not, it's that loss which has made you what you are today.  But you have yet to learn that there are other ways to lose those close to you.  Ways that are infinitely more painful.  And that is where your friends will come into play.  I know you have experienced loss before but do you have any concept of what it feels like to be abandoned?

You will…

I am going to take everything from you Robin and there is nothing you can do to stop me.  Despite all of your skills, training, and planning, you will fail.  You won't even see the trap as it ensnares you because you fail to see all the weapons within my arsenal.  You expect me to use Cinderblock, the HIVE, or one of my other pawns.  However, the experienced chess player knows how to use his enemy's pawns against him.  The closer you become to your friends, the more vulnerable you'll be when they are turned against you.  

Even if you knew this fact, you would refuse to change.  Telling you this would only infuriate you.  You would say that I'm wrong and that you will prove it to me.

There are some lessons that can only be learned from experience.  

And it is going to be a very painful experience Robin.  You'll see… when your family has abandoned you.  When no matter how hard you try they remain just out of reach…  When turning to your memories only reminds you of what you've lost.

When everything has been taken from you…

Then you'll understand.

And only then, will you be complete.

A/N:  I'm not sure how well this turned out.  This started out as a view of Slade from more of a comic book standpoint.  It was too ambiguous so I tried to take a more definite stance when I rewrote it.  However, I still tried to blur the line between Robin and Slade a bit at the end.  Remember to review!  I would appreciate any feedback.  Besides it's not like I'm some review driven egomaniac…Tell me if there are any characters you are particularly interested in seeing, although I am working on a multi-chapter fanfic at the moment.


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